Back, kind of. Probably won't honestly be fully back until the end of August, but hey, Post to show I'm alive? Anyhoo, finally got a new computer. I don't have photoshop or painter on here anymore, so I have to re-find my discs and re-install them, ... hopefully they're not left at my apartment at school. it'd be nice to finish something before the summer's over. Anyway. Did someone buy me a premium membership? Or is this something that dA is doing that I had absolutely no idea about. If someone did? Holy crap, thanks? if not. Ignore this.

Man, I feel like shit just loves happening in my life for extended periods of time. And I feel like this just takes the cake.

So, in the span of an entire week, my computer dies on me (have to replace the motherboard with money that I, apparently, am just sprouting out of my ass), I lose my job before I even start working (I was supposed to work at my mom's job, but they then, 3 days before I'm supposed to begin working, decided to tell me that I can't work there any more because it's seen as favoritism, and if they can find me a place in another department, they'll do their part), and the loan company that I've been using to pay for my school's education has suddenly taken down the loan I've been using to pay for school, and I have no fucking idea if I'm going to be able to get cash to pay for this coming year. Fucking. Awesome. Needless to say, I'm obviously going to no be posting for a while, which is also kind of funny because I was just starting to feel like finishing everything I had started, of course, in time, for my computer to die on me. I'm now forced to use the house computer, which, even though it has photoshop and corel painter, I cannot finish anything since everything is on my dead computer.

So yeah, shit's kind of sucking right now. But then again, what else is new?

I guess I could have made this entry a week ago but whatever.

I'm on vacation! And I'm doing the job hunt again. This summer's going to be way rougher looking for work because of the economy and all. Plus, it seems like there's way fewer people looking to hire for the summer. I don't even have my job from last year to turn to because everything's so shit (they're not hiring anyone, and they're even cutting back hours of the people who are there). So hey, let's hope I get something, because I could really use the money. I don't actually have many goals to reach for this summer other than keeping my own sanity (but we'll see how well that turns out, eh? b: ). My grades turned out fine and my life seems to have entered a period of tranquility, and god I'm hoping it lasts. There's many trips planned though to various places, most of which are pending my getting a job. And me being the persistent and stubborn person I am, I refuse to allow unemployment fuck everything up. I'm sure I'll find a job someplace, it's just going to be a pain until then. ... or at least very much filled with tons of WoW.

Oh, also? Wolverine sucked. So disappointing. The story changes they did gave me a headache. And is it just me or did it really feel like nothing happened in that movie for the first hour? Because it seriously felt like nothing happened for the first hour :\

Assuming that the majority of people don't know, one of the most horrific crimes was committed in my town over the weekend. Two girls, one of which was decapitated and the other stabbed to death, were murdered by their own brother before he was shot and killed by police. Now, the first thing I want to say is... I hate people. I don't mean the guy who committed the crime (who I knew rather indirectly from high school). I mean the fact that people are so quick to point fingers when something horrible happens in the black community.

There's absolutely no way I can even begin to wrap my mind around what happened. It was simply tragic, and there's no other way of putting it other than that. Their parents came home after police were called to the scene, and only one of their children survived. And watching the news clip of it was absolutely heart-wrenching. There's absolutely no way that anyone can comprehend the kind of agony that they're going through right now. And I think it's absolutely sickening that there are people out there who are using this as a fuel to their own falsely justified crusade. Why is it that this has to be correlated to the fact that the family was black? What purpose is that serving? And how is that even justified? Is it beyond people nowadays to try and think that maybe he was just sick? A crime like this isn't committed because of cultural influence. There's no rap song that says for you to go and decapitate your sister before she's going to celebrate her birthday, and the other who's trying to stop it. There's no black t.v. show that glorifies something like this. So why are people so quick to turn to racist train of thoughts? Is it easier to say it's because of racism, than to see it as a reflection of humanity?

Now, I didn't know him very well, and I am by no means trying to sweep under the rug what happened. But I'm 100% certain that it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he was black. The sheer gruesomeness of this act is enough to point that he simply was not mentally well. This kind of thing is along the lines of a sociopath, which even the medical community says is not mentally stable (and is by definition not mentally sound). So why are people doing this? Why are people displacing the blame on something completely irrelevant? Saying it happened because they were black isn't going to bring those two girls back. Saying it happened because they were black isn't going to wipe away the tears of their parents who have to now bury 3 of their children, knowing that one of them was the cause of all the deaths. Saying it happened because they were black isn't going to mend the wounds of the only sibling who survived the attack, and is now forced to have the memory of its occurrence in her memory for the rest of her life. It's not going to change anything. It's not going to make anything better. All it's going to do is cause pointless chaos and take away attention where it's rightfully due - giving proper condolences to the Revelus family.

I hope that they get through this hard time as best as they possibly can. And that people who are stupid enough to blame it on something so irrelevant as how much melanin your body produces find something better to do with their time than to be racist ass holes.

Warning: Long assed journal entry up ahead.

So I'm back in Canada with only having done barely half of what I wanted to accomplish over winter break. Actually, I was just one short of doing half, (6 out of 13, fuck it. I'll say I did half to make myself feel better). But the major things couldn't be done just because I was still broke (boo, didn't accomplish that). Turns out my summer job is suspending hiring anyone new even if they're short handed just because the economy is sucking so bad back home. Particularly in Massachusetts, unfortunately. So, what can you do? Nothing but enjoy not having to do any work what so ever, is what you do! Because to be honest, it's really nice not having to do anything, at all for a month. The last time I had a vacation that involved nothing/worrying about nothing was ... far too long ago. But hell, I tried to stay productive. However, all production of any new artwork had to be halted because the home computer just couldn't handle it (note: I had near panic attacks more than 80% of the time I even tried to color something because that thing lags/freezes so much). I think it's about 8 years old now. It still works, just was clearly not built to handle anything I do. So I just flat out stopped working on stuff until I got back to my real computer that can handle anything. *strokestroke* I will say one thing really good about that computer though, it really taught me the art of patience. Because there was sure as hell no way I'd lose all the work I did.

But my break was good, definitely wasn't long enough, but that's pretty much what's to be expected. At least there's only 3 months of school left (heelllll yeeesss) until vacation. Because sometimes I would rather be working in a job than working on school work ... most likely because I get paid for one and have to pay for the other.

My break was comprised of... baking a lot - Made home made marshmallows that turned out friggin AWESOME. Except I didn't realize that melted chocolate at a certain temperature will actually start to melt them, so some of them turned out a little funky lookin :< But I drizzled them with white chocolate to make them look more "artsy". Lulz. I also made home made cinnamon rolls at my mom's request. They turned out pretty nicely, though I should have really gone nuts with the cinnamon sugar. I also tried making a couple of my mom's recipes, particularly one called Boudain (probably not spelled right) which is a meat filled pastry. 'Sho good. Also made sugar cookies with homemade buttercream iceing. I made the colors kind of ugly so that people wouldn't go for them at the Christmas Party. ... Unfortunately that didn't deter them. At all. But all of this led to me starting to keep a little recipe book of everything I make. Hella helpful with baking stuff since I suck at remembering things like that. I also got to hang out with my friends a lot, well, namely Paula and Nick. Though I didn't get to see Paula as much as I would have hoped :< Ah well, there's still summer vacation!

It's also pretty nice to be back, mostly because my cat has apparently missed me like crazy and will not leave my side. Which is kind of annoying when he still wakes you up at 5 Am for affection except this time, he's way more persistent about getting a hell of a lot more attention. But it's cute to see him roll into a ball next to me wherever I sit.

And now for a Meme~
First thing you wash in the shower?
The pits. 'Can't be funky when you go out.

What color is your favorite hoodie?
Black. But I need to get a new one because the holes I made in the cuffs of the sleeves for my thumbs are unstylishly large now.

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Yus. Yus I would.

Do you plan outfits?
Nope. But then again, a lot of what I wear is pretty formulaic.

How are you feeling RIGHT now?
A little on the groggy side.

Who was the last person you kissed?
A friend :>

Person before that?
Mmmmm, let's not open that can of worms again.

What are you craving right now?
A good Italian sub. Another thing I did not get enough of during my break.

What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Cabbage patch dolls. Those things are fucking creepy man.

Do you make prank calls?
No, but I should. Except I'm so not good at those kinds of impulsive things.

Do you sleep with any stuffed animals?
Does my cat Collins count?

Have you ever counted to 1,000?
I usually don't make it that high since the only time I'd do that is to get myself to fall asleep.

Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
Lick it. Lick it rull good.

Do you like anyone right now?
Yes, I do.

What do you think of crickets?
They sound pretty but they're bugs so they still gross me out.

Have you ever met a celebrity?
I'm thinking... I'm thinking... I'm thinking no? Aside from various bands, so I guess yes?

Do you like cottage cheese?
I don't think I've actually had cottage cheese before.

What are you listening to right now?
Psych. The show. 'Sawsome.

Would you go sky diving?
Only for it to be followed by a massive heart attack and my own death. I cannot handle heights. Never.

Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
Sure, why not. He's a shit president but I bet he'd buy drinks for everyone.

Would you throw potatoes at him?
Nah.

Is there anything sparkly on you?
The necklace my mom gave me that I never take off.

Do you rent movies often?
hahaha, sure.

Who are you going to be with tonight?
No one, probably.

Brown or white egg?
Don't care, they're both damn good.

Ever been on a train?
Yup. Mmmmm, MBTA goodness~

Ever told someone you loved them?
Yeup. 'Tis a rareity for such words to pass these lips of mine. Unless you're my family and friends.

Do you have a cell phone?
Yes. Except it's not working right now. Which I kind of like because that means the amount of people who can get in touch with me has dissipated exponentially.

Are you a virgin?
A lady doth not kiss and tell.

Any kids?
Nope. And hopefully not for another 5 years.

What is your best friend doing tomorrow?
I'm going to assume reading a lot and trying to be productive?

Ever had cream puffs?
Oh god yeah... soooo good.

Ever had breaded shrimp?
Yup. But I prefer coconut Shrimp, which I suppose is nothing but a brethren of it.

What was the last question you asked?
"Can we go to Outback tonight? Please? :<"

What was the last CD you bought?
Probably Sigur Ros' Með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust. It has naked people on the cover.

Is your hair curly?
Sure, you can call it that.

Last time you cried?
That's actually good question. I can only assume it was within the last 3 weeks only because I tend to get really emotional around my period.

Ever walked into a wall?
Yeah. And anyone who says they haven't is a dirty liar.

Ever walked UP a wall?
with my amazing Ninja powers.

Have you ever bought anything from PacSun?
Nope.

Favorite time of the year?
The fall. It's so beautiful in New England when all the leaves change.

What's your favorite number?
I used to have one but I don't any more. It used to be 16 but yeah, no.

Favorite colors?
Magenta, Purple, Forest Green, Cerulean.

Do you have any piercings?
Do my ears count?

Do you have any tattoos?
No, but that'll change in due time.

Who was the last person you held hands with?
yet again, a friend :>

Do you sleep with the TV on?
In my room at home, I have to. Only because I swear my room is haunted.

Do you like your life right now?
A considerable amount more than I did 3 months ago.

How do you feel about 'love'?
Do you want the cynical answer or the romantic one?

What is your favorite animal?
I'm prone to say cats just because I have one, but I do love dogs and ferrets as well.

Do you have good vision?
No. And I really need to get a new pair of glasses.

Can you hula hoop?
fuck yeah.

Could you ever forgive a cheater?
Depends on the circumstances.

Do you have a job?
Not officially, no.

What are you wearing?
Heart covered PJ pants and an Xavier Institute for Higher Learning t-shirt.

What does your hair look like?
Probably a lot like a DBZ character at the moment until I shower and brush/comb it.

Ever climbed out a window?
Nyo.

Can you handle the truth?
I'd like to think I can, regardless of how much it'll hurt. But I'd rather hear the truth than live in a lie.

What was the most recent thing you bought?
Would it be sad if I said an order of Fish and Chips? Something non-food wise... A Bus ticket to Toronto.

How often do you talk on the phone?
Not often, but typically when I do I'll be on for a while.

Do you hate/dislike more than 3 people?
I think my dislike count is at 2 right now.

Are you sarcastic?
I can be, yes.

Have you ever slapped someone?
Yes. But only in jest.

Do looks matter?
I'd like to answer no, but everyone knows that'd be a lie.

Do you use chapstick?
mmmhm. Coconut chapstick to be exact.

Are you too forgiving?
No, in fact I can hold a grudge like a beast.

Do you own something from Hot Topic?
NO >

Do you own a gun?
No. Real or Fake

Where are you located?
School year: Oakville, ON. Summer: Near Boston, MA.

Have you ever been in a castle?
Only in my mind.

Do you like your hair?
Yes. Regardless of how ill-tempered it'll be from time to time.

Do you like yourself?
Yes. Surprisingly enough, yes.

Random statement.
Up yer bum~!

What are you doing today?
Sleeping/cuddling with my cat, playing FFIV on my DS, and then who knows from there!